Who cares if it took half a life to get here? I’ve always done things on my own time.
It's never understanding why your brother likes hot fudge when it just melts everything and it's laughing at your dad when he describes his preferred texture of malt as "runny."
He learns all these things from Facebook. Her girlfriend, their kids.
Optional: Poop Tweeting.
And along with goals, prioritize. In the end, some of us like to be busy and some of us like to get sh*t done. Choose wisely.
So it only made sense that the Dude, who is a dog, and dogs had also saved my life, is named Vonnegut.
I've never understood this particular line of carnival barker and must say, the man about a half mile up the road who was holding a "John 3:16" sign and yelling in happy, non-confrontational tone, "God is good!" had a much better marketing plan.
I've done the work. I've done this before. I'll play the ball as it lies.
Maybe I was cool at some point, who knows? But I've hit the "Irrationally upset that those people are late on their HOAs dues" phase. WE DON'T DO FREE RIDES HERE.
Or maybe it just one person who walks around eating chicken as much as I run.
Yes, I've had a messy relationship with American football over the past decade. Whether it's concussions, Michael Vick, domestic abusers, rapists, violence de jour, or the backlash to Kaep, I've gone weeks and nearly entire seasons without watching a down. As a Vikings fan, well, let's say loyalist, I figured I hadn't missed too much.
After all, it's who you spend a lot of time with, so it's not like you need to be a high-level empath to have your primary companionship build you up or wear you down.
I looked up through the kitchen window just in time to see a piece of chicken go flying.
It’s funny because I almost had the word “feminist” tattooed where the snake is, but figured when I reached to shake someone’s hand, a snake would be greeted more warmly than a feminist.
"And the time will come when you see we're all one and life flows on within you and without you."
All the darkness sits outside of the table and the mirror, so even when the world's a mess, one could still see him or herself in the light.
But I didn't say anything because I used to be better at that.
“But he aimed it at me, not you, and because I am a woman, he felt he could get away with it.”
It’s okay to not be okay all the time. That’s what I want you to remember.
The root system became extra problematic that August morning.