I know the saying is that the road to hell is paved with good intentions, but I’m starting to think the road to anywhere is paved as such. Now, everything is cool, there’s no worries, but the universe is so entirely bent on teaching me patience.

Why did I ask for that lesson, anyway? Like, I knew it was gonna be long and frustrating, but cocky me was like, “Yeah, bitch, teach me.”

As if the string of partners addicted to various substances wasn’t enough of a lesson, I actually asked for it.

And it always surprises me when I think I have a decent hold on things and then, BOOM, I really don’t. Today’s fumble is a typical fumble, that great American friend we call debt. All the Berners with their constant shares of eliminating all student loan debt isn’t helping. I get it and I really don’t care if student loan debt is eliminated or not. I picked public school over private school, worked while I was in school, and then usually had two jobs (and three for a time) to try and keep up with the mountain of debt that American life is these days.

My student loans are paid off and even though sometimes I think about going back to school, the thought of taking on more debt makes me cringe.

And yet, I still have debt.

Yes, I shouldn’t have invested in an ex’s business. But I wanted to make sure people got paid.

Yes, I shouldn’t have paid court fines for an ex. But more jail meant no help with anything at home.

Yes, I shouldn’t have paid for treatment for an ex. But I was interested in his not dying.

I would probably be a lot happier if I just said no more and let people around me fail. It was never my job to save them.

I found out a contract that was helping me pay off my debt faster is being cancelled shortly. So, I gotta find another hustle or cut back my payments. Not the end of the world. I won’t starve or lack shelter.

But damnit, I hate it when my plan gets jacked.

The road to financial freedom is paved with good intentions.


I couldn’t take a pic of it because I was driving, but yesterday I saw the world’s coolest man. He was smoking a cigarette whilst longboarding, his thin comb-over blowing in the breeze. It wasn’t much of a workout since his pit bull was pulling him.

I am going to ask the universe to make me that cool.

Photo by Jp Valery on Unsplash

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