You guys, I’m the worst.
It was gradual at first, but then I fell off the cliff.
I’ve let myself go, my personal writing muscles withering away like the fruit on the vine no one picked. My work writing would probably still be considered decent, but that doesn’t sort out my head space or allow me to connect with people in a really meaningful way.
I wasn’t writing for fun. At all. Boo me.
To some credit, I wasn’t watching a ton of TV. I was actually reading more. I’m currently working my way through the 50 States of True Crime list, which is weird and awesome in its own way. (Check it out. My favorites so far are CO, IL, and MA; however, I just started MO and it’s a strong contender for the short list: Ozarks! Meth! A Pope! Oh my!)
Why I can’t both write and read for pleasure is a reasonable question and I decided today that I’m going to work in my life to restore than balance. When I keep a space here to chat with you, I feel better. I sort stuff out. I process. Maybe no one ever reads it, but if I do it for me, that probably doesn’t matter.
So anyway, since I’ve been gone, there is a new favorite character who’s become part of our morning runs, a man I’ve dubbed “Nine Iron,” because he’s alway carrying a golf club with him. It’s easy to assume he was attacked or something at some point and feels better having a weapon with him. Maybe he just really likes to golf. Maybe he thinks it’s a lightsaber. Whatever, the point is that I like Nine Iron. He has a wonderful smile that I see now whenever we run into him and he makes a point to wave and say good morning. And I don’t need to know the details with the club. I just get to see the humanity in him and he gets to see the humanity in me. It’s nice to have a pure connection with a stranger and not care about who he voted for or where he works or why he lives in the neighborhood. We won’t seek each other out on social media. He just is and in those “Good mornings,” I just am.
We used to be better about letting people pass in and out of our lives like that without having to assign meaning and status. I guess I’m working on that, too.
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The kids are both being very good dogs, in case anyone wondered. They say woof’s up.