At the end of yoga class, the teacher always talks about “The light in me honors the light in you,” the namaste moment where souls recognize each other.  It’s a beautiful moment of respect and something I definitely need to work on daily, recognizing and honoring those around me, especially when I am frustrated or confused.  I supposed all uncomfortable emotions are ultimately rooted in hurt or fear.

We recognize hurt and fear in each other.   I wouldn’t say the darkness in one person can honor the darkness in another, but we can spot it a mile away.

We lost a good one this week.  A complicated human whose darkness got to be too much as it does sometimes, but you were good.  You loved as best you could, whether it was your friends, your child, your family, or your dog.  You got overly excited about the funniest things, like the quality of the meat counter at the downtown grocery store. 

When I heard the news, I did what calms me; I leashed up the Bitches and went for a run.  I didn’t know if I was surprised or not, because part of our friendship was a care taking mode and I knew you weren’t well.  We all knew.  We carried you out of bars and gave you rides. 

A wise man who wrestled with the darkness taught me that it’s never about making bad people good, it’s about helping sick people get well.  

You were so damned likable. 

Even when I was angry with you, I liked you. 

That goofy laugh. 

That giant smile. 

All those stories.

I’m sorry that this was the way to end your pain.  I am not angry with you.  We don’t all get better, that’s the reality of addiction and mental health issues.  Some of us contain for a while, some of us learn to manage, but we do lose some to the darkness. 

There was so much light in you—bike rides, dog walks, and music.  We’ll honor that light. 

Fare thee well.