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      <image:title>Blog</image:title>
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  <url>
    <loc>http://twobitchesandjules.com/journal/2023/7/10/visions-of-johanna-2009-2023</loc>
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    <lastmod>2023-07-11</lastmod>
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    <loc>http://twobitchesandjules.com/journal/2021/11/29/say-the-thing</loc>
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    <lastmod>2021-11-29</lastmod>
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    <loc>http://twobitchesandjules.com/journal/2020/12/6/in-the-eye-of-the-dog-owner</loc>
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    <lastmod>2020-12-07</lastmod>
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    <loc>http://twobitchesandjules.com/journal/2020/10/13/it-maybe-a-racket</loc>
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    <lastmod>2020-10-14</lastmod>
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    <loc>http://twobitchesandjules.com/journal/2020/7/10/speaking-of</loc>
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    <lastmod>2020-07-11</lastmod>
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  <url>
    <loc>http://twobitchesandjules.com/journal/2020/5/12/comfort</loc>
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    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2020-05-12</lastmod>
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  <url>
    <loc>http://twobitchesandjules.com/journal/2020/3/15/weeds-man</loc>
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    <lastmod>2020-03-16</lastmod>
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  <url>
    <loc>http://twobitchesandjules.com/journal/2020/2/17/a-hairy-situation</loc>
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    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2020-02-17</lastmod>
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  <url>
    <loc>http://twobitchesandjules.com/journal/2020/1/29/the-worst</loc>
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    <lastmod>2020-01-30</lastmod>
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  <url>
    <loc>http://twobitchesandjules.com/journal/2019/8/8/tnder</loc>
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    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2019-08-09</lastmod>
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  <url>
    <loc>http://twobitchesandjules.com/journal/2019/6/25/good-intentions</loc>
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    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2019-06-25</lastmod>
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  <url>
    <loc>http://twobitchesandjules.com/journal/2019/5/22/everywhere-i-go</loc>
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    <lastmod>2019-05-22</lastmod>
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      <image:title>Blog - Everywhere I go...</image:title>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1558564706894-OEW2PH04H0L93Z3KIYLN/P1010354.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Everywhere I go...</image:title>
      <image:caption>He did know another hand gesture. I’ll miss you. 47 wasn’t enough.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://twobitchesandjules.com/journal/2019/4/29/runners-diary-mt-charleston-edition</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2019-04-30</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1556595350675-SL3EKV0W217Q0IYZQFHZ/Sunrise+Revel+2019.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Runner's Diary: Mt. Charleston Edition</image:title>
      <image:caption>Yes, all those people are in line for the port-a-john, but you should really be looking at the sunrise.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1556595847450-PAXECHM67TRW05K6BRLX/Start+Revel+2019.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Runner's Diary: Mt. Charleston Edition</image:title>
      <image:caption>It’s really pretty up at Mt. Charleston. If you visit Vegas, try to make a point and get there. Hiking paths for all skill levels!</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1556598562526-1DOI3ZPZGP7R3MX9DZNA/Finish+Party+Revel+2019.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Runner's Diary: Mt. Charleston Edition</image:title>
      <image:caption>Steve did the half because he’s awesome and always up for my weird adventures.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
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  <url>
    <loc>http://twobitchesandjules.com/journal/2019/2/18/life-imitated</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2019-02-18</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1550530075254-B8WSDOSCNQN6ZPIVEQ07/Screen+Shot+2019-02-18+at+2.47.33+PM.png</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Life Imitated...</image:title>
      <image:caption>This should read,”I am not a perfect man and I have me many mistakes. To anyone I have ever hurt, I apologize deeply and unreservedly.”</image:caption>
    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://twobitchesandjules.com/journal/2019/2/13/pupcakes</loc>
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    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2019-02-14</lastmod>
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      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1550112184657-05XENX0Z7H83NEKNUWDV/Vonny%27s+First+Birthday+%281%29.png</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Pupcakes!</image:title>
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  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://twobitchesandjules.com/journal/2019/1/2/red-light-tonight</loc>
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    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2019-01-02</lastmod>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://twobitchesandjules.com/journal/2018/12/17/o1xv2tqolo8zptzdwo2ql4l4px8mln</loc>
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    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2018-12-17</lastmod>
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  <url>
    <loc>http://twobitchesandjules.com/journal/2018/12/4/fun</loc>
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    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2018-12-05</lastmod>
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  <url>
    <loc>http://twobitchesandjules.com/journal/nevadadayforreal</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2018-10-31</lastmod>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://twobitchesandjules.com/journal/topbobbytoday</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2018-10-10</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1539195586352-WJYIUIBWDB1MDGTUYYPC/Dylan+Songs+PNG.png</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Me and my Bobby D</image:title>
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  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://twobitchesandjules.com/journal/2018/9/12/times-on-my-side</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2018-09-13</lastmod>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://twobitchesandjules.com/journal/2018/8/15/i-scream-you-scream-i-just-scream</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2018-08-16</lastmod>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://twobitchesandjules.com/journal/2018/7/30/rodney-peterson</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2025-01-29</lastmod>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://twobitchesandjules.com/journal/2018/5/29/timing</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2018-05-29</lastmod>
    <image:image>
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      <image:title>Blog - Timing</image:title>
      <image:caption>"Always two there are, no more, no less. A master and an apprentice."</image:caption>
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  <url>
    <loc>http://twobitchesandjules.com/journal/2018/4/26/dear-uncle-kurt</loc>
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    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2018-04-27</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1524784267806-NA6VJD2ZWXA0154E2L07/%E2%80%9CGod+grant+me+the+serenity+to+accept+the+things+I+cannot+change%2C+courage+to+change+the+things+I+can%2C+and+wisdom+always+to+tell+the+difference.%27Among+the+things+Billy+Pilgrim+could+not+change+were+the+past%2C+the+presen.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Dear Uncle Kurt...</image:title>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1524784429037-IIACXQ5S8D640FS3FK90/joey+and+vonny+first+walk.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Dear Uncle Kurt...</image:title>
      <image:caption>“Everything was beautiful and nothing hurt.” – Uncle Kurt in my favorite book</image:caption>
    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://twobitchesandjules.com/journal/2018/3/26/runners-diary-la-edition</loc>
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    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2018-03-27</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1522117052298-3WE6M07R20YG6NDTDRIT/it%27s+so+early.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Runner's Diary: LA Edition</image:title>
      <image:caption>I decided not to ditch my five dollar sweatshirt, but to use gear check. This meant I was really cold for about 30 minutes before we started, but now I have a sweet five dollar CA bear hoodie.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1522117413620-K2KGBB5RVVU9UW1BOJ60/Starting+line.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Runner's Diary: LA Edition</image:title>
      <image:caption>E pluribus unum.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1522119456207-O9NCYY2FVY02X97W7CLF/gangham+style.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Runner's Diary: LA Edition</image:title>
      <image:caption>There were grandpas out there crushing it. I do love LA.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1522120011117-56IVHAUVJQ5XY4G8RDKD/thong+man.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Runner's Diary: LA Edition</image:title>
      <image:caption>Mile 12: Sunset in West Hollywood. This guy. I told him how much I loved his confidence and how happy he made me. And he and his friend cheered. I ran near them for a few miles because watching people's reactions was absolutely life-giving. The thong man is officially a totem in my life.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1522121252151-OOKU5BTXKEONX8VNXGH0/Finish+line.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Runner's Diary: LA Edition</image:title>
      <image:caption>Seeing the finish is always pretty awesome. There were people lined along both sides of the last stretch, but for security, the last .2 miles is always just the runners. I'm usually smiling or crying, or both, at this point. On March 18, I was happy--how could you not be happy with that view?</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1522121769820-DV46P6MCTY2SOI4AFERK/LA+Marathon+finish+line_Medium.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Runner's Diary: LA Edition</image:title>
      <image:caption>I signed up for the Las Vegas Half Marathon 48 hours later. Because. Running as a St. Jude Hero for that one.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
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  <url>
    <loc>http://twobitchesandjules.com/journal/2018/3/13/as-it-lies</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2018-03-14</lastmod>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://twobitchesandjules.com/journal/thekidsarealright</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2018-03-06</lastmod>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://twobitchesandjules.com/journal/2018/2/9/fried-vegas</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2018-02-09</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1518191939381-TANGIHQCZANPNQXH5DZC/snail.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Fried Vegas</image:title>
      <image:caption>Be still my heart.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1518191987613-XYF0A1NCUSSW8UEHFBI8/friend+chicken.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Fried Vegas</image:title>
    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://twobitchesandjules.com/journal/2018/1/17/stranger-things</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2018-01-18</lastmod>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://twobitchesandjules.com/journal/2018/1/3/5cb405q4xcq3ijycovoh1401bmtxrd</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2018-01-05</lastmod>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://twobitchesandjules.com/journal/2017/12/26/rv39y1nrcwsd4siita8ey5004efbkp</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2017-12-26</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1514331122955-3X4Q3TEP8O7FO66COAEH/dodge.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Feisty Frostys</image:title>
      <image:caption>Just add luggage rack.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1514331216313-1ZPJ50P4FK9CGBAD4S22/wendys-frosty.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Feisty Frostys</image:title>
      <image:caption>The waiting is the hardest part. - A guy named Tom</image:caption>
    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://twobitchesandjules.com/journal/2017/11/29/the-quiet-one</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2017-11-29</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1511991302546-7W4S9C765AWI3BWIDFYZ/Baby+George.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - The Quiet One</image:title>
      <image:caption>The young one. The cigs did actually kill him.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1511991454023-41560VIMJUCKN95SI301/pop+george.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - The Quiet One</image:title>
      <image:caption>The quiet one.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1511991944119-LYF43VGS6E9B1O8SYGV2/Georges.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - The Quiet One</image:title>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1511993024452-YKKMCHTUI8P9W1QOYBQR/wilbury+george.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - The Quiet One</image:title>
    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://twobitchesandjules.com/journal/2017/11/15/soulcraft</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2017-11-16</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1510791430971-DR8N8EIF12EXT2Y2624W/IMAG1482.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Soulcraft</image:title>
      <image:caption>Before #remodelordietryin</image:caption>
    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://twobitchesandjules.com/journal/2017/11/8/plagiarize-this</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2025-01-29</lastmod>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://twobitchesandjules.com/journal/2017/10/10/criddlin</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2025-01-29</lastmod>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://twobitchesandjules.com/journal/2017/9/27/pan-and-scan</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2017-09-27</lastmod>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://twobitchesandjules.com/journal/2017/9/16/determinedly-yours</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2017-10-07</lastmod>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://twobitchesandjules.com/journal/2017/9/1/head-south-stay-west</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2025-01-29</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1504294450079-7D3AHWQ8IKMXXC83ECAJ/banana.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Head south, stay west</image:title>
      <image:caption>I'm sorry.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1504294290744-56IYT81NJJUSDY9P64LT/speed+wash.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Head south, stay west</image:title>
      <image:caption>We crashed in Reno, where the jokes actually write themselves.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1504294351816-3E1XUA73BZBO0C3IP3FT/middle+of+nevada.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Head south, stay west</image:title>
      <image:caption>Nevada:  Still more interesting than Wyoming.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://twobitchesandjules.com/journal/2017/7/27/runners-diary-sf-edition</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2017-07-28</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1501201185061-GY9LLYDBRCDRJ6GB252I/image-asset.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Runner's Diary:  SF Edition</image:title>
      <image:caption>Timmy's John Deere cap.  &lt;3</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1501202024005-08N01LK2XLP0D0W6TQUT/image-asset.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Runner's Diary:  SF Edition</image:title>
      <image:caption>No Power Crunch, no problem.  Steve is Awesome, Reason 673:  To the Chinese Bakery!  Bonus points because President Clinton was there back in the day!</image:caption>
    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://twobitchesandjules.com/journal/2017/7/16/i-miss-you-more</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2017-07-17</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1500256866737-J7YPU53TYL6HVW8J7CST/image-asset.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - I Miss You More</image:title>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1500256946084-6T1PB6I98BS822DTZD2L/image-asset.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - I Miss You More</image:title>
      <image:caption>“Dogs are better than human beings because they know but do not tell.” - Emily Dickinson</image:caption>
    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://twobitchesandjules.com/journal/2017/7/5/independence</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2017-07-05</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1499293075310-1ILXZGHAI8LPCD0QCRIH/image-asset.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Independence</image:title>
      <image:caption>Obviously, this bitch.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://twobitchesandjules.com/journal/2017/6/29/bitchfoot-schooly</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2017-06-29</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1498758398027-Z357INVZ6R9HCFHHCWZ8/image-asset.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Bitchfoot Schooly</image:title>
      <image:caption>They go every mile with me, no matter the time or place.  My friend, Corey, called me, "Bitchfoot Schooly" after the first foot tattoo.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://twobitchesandjules.com/journal/2017/6/2/a-blisters-worth-a-thousand-words</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2017-06-03</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1496452756396-73PAO311SJ3Y4113E4MW/image-asset.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - A Blister's Worth a Thousand Words</image:title>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1496452600656-S969DT3EM3MYYHKFW0XC/image-asset.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - A Blister's Worth a Thousand Words</image:title>
      <image:caption>“In most cases, learning something essential in life requires physical pain.”  - Haruki Murakami</image:caption>
    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://twobitchesandjules.com/journal/2017/5/23/play-it-fcking-loud</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2017-05-24</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1495597653736-2SFCS0KWYXRDIJXQK4GA/image-asset.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Play It F#cking Loud</image:title>
      <image:caption>Let's pause to appreciate mid-70's Bobby.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://twobitchesandjules.com/journal/2017/4/20/joeys-log-april-2017</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2017-04-20</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1492716372776-YXSVEFBZ4C817MTN7QQX/image-asset.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Joey’s Log:  April 2017</image:title>
      <image:caption>Don't get smart with me.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://twobitchesandjules.com/journal/2017/4/6/58iri60pi9i3oivtnut16jxign0m1i</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2017-04-07</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1491524850467-NH1TSGXJC4HN9XB3SU0I/image-asset.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Rebirth</image:title>
      <image:caption>Rebirth</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1491525567421-L01WRPN77BMM00R35BLF/image-asset.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Rebirth</image:title>
    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://twobitchesandjules.com/journal/2017/3/26/dickback-pointers</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2017-03-27</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1490584646748-NDURX5SEWVNWIM96124O/image-asset.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Dickback Pointers</image:title>
      <image:caption>This is Lucky.  And I'm sure he would be with action like that.  Photo used with permission from owner/mom, Desaree.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1490584714336-OKQ32OOCN7FTBDGFTEEB/image-asset.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Dickback Pointers</image:title>
      <image:caption>Wood everywhere.  Chapry the climber.  Photo used with permission of owner/mom, Bianka.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1490584778637-SQ14L2NPIYT6OFAQJU8R/image-asset.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Dickback Pointers</image:title>
      <image:caption>If Molly were a superhero, they'd call her Shouldercock.  Photo used with permission of owner/dad, Bryan.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1490584879421-RQIX5GEH4LZ6U198BMM0/image-asset.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Dickback Pointers</image:title>
      <image:caption>This bitch, Clio, has bigger balls than any dog.  Photo used with permission of owner/dad, Steven.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1490584950321-AWW7LCOI59VQSOGYFHVA/image-asset.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Dickback Pointers</image:title>
      <image:caption>King Richard's owner/mom, Shelbie, started this whole thing and made my day.  I salute you, Dickback Pointer, Winchester, King of the Richard Back!  Photo used with Shelbie's permission.    </image:caption>
    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://twobitchesandjules.com/journal/2017/3/21/dr-joey</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2017-03-21</lastmod>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://twobitchesandjules.com/journal/2017/3/11/man-v-dog</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2017-03-11</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1489256403154-OTTRLTXBCPIND6YSV2DR/image-asset.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Man v. Dog</image:title>
    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://twobitchesandjules.com/journal/2017/3/1/snooze</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2017-03-01</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1488407267420-X7K4ZGPETVQ0JI8799I6/image-asset.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Snooze</image:title>
      <image:caption>I switched to an old-school, no engine lawnmower shortly after this.  And yes, I was wearing shoes, which the doctor said was the primary reason he wasn't sewing the toe back to my foot.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://twobitchesandjules.com/journal/2017/2/20/campy-lobster</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2017-02-21</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1487636619266-IL4YJ66ZVPR41QATMXSB/image-asset.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Campy Lobster</image:title>
      <image:caption>Like little lima beans from hell.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://twobitchesandjules.com/journal/2017/2/7/we-thought-it-would-be-basic</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2025-01-29</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1486496504451-OZKBQIUKUDN7WB0VOPYY/image-asset.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - We Thought It Would Be Basic</image:title>
    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://twobitchesandjules.com/journal/2017/2/2/help-us-cj-youre-our-only-hope</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2025-01-29</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1486094257000-MBUQWMGCOMVOB2EME7P2/image-asset.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Help Us, CJ, You're Our Only Hope</image:title>
      <image:caption>Demon cats are a thing on Pinterest.  Just sayin'.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://twobitchesandjules.com/journal/2017/1/27/name-game</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2025-01-29</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1485575382678-LVL152GG74698GPC1X6K/image-asset.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Name Game</image:title>
      <image:caption>Our contribution.  Dylan art by Shaine Schroeder.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://twobitchesandjules.com/journal/2016/12/30/the-force-is-with-you</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2016-12-31</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1483150495679-DZA815BRQHIA8BQ1U8C5/image-asset.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - The Force Is With You</image:title>
    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://twobitchesandjules.com/journal/2016/12/19/yule-logs-and-stuff</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2016-12-20</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1482212512160-RZZJSIYLGGQD5FU5G9G6/image-asset.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Yule logs and stuff...</image:title>
      <image:caption>This dude totally tried to make-out with me.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1482212461889-5NDMQ1UWV1UQXBJH541Z/image-asset.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Yule logs and stuff...</image:title>
    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://twobitchesandjules.com/journal/2016/12/4/too-athletic-was-the-case</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2016-12-05</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1480896113134-07351OEEHK52U87G2KTB/image-asset.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Too Athletic Was the Case</image:title>
      <image:caption>Only 20% asshole.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://twobitchesandjules.com/journal/2016/11/15/shes-gone</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2025-01-29</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1479272765967-63HTUTNZGJ2GRZ1O42X9/image-asset.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - She's Gone</image:title>
      <image:caption>I was in love.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1479272870584-I2OJNHKDRS37A50HVPFO/image-asset.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - She's Gone</image:title>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1479272960903-BCRFHK8RXXGBXPR7UYS6/image-asset.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - She's Gone</image:title>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1479272215152-3DTXA3SM5BRK0T0PGN9V/image-asset.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - She's Gone</image:title>
    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://twobitchesandjules.com/journal/2016/10/31/say-it-out-loud</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2016-11-01</lastmod>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://twobitchesandjules.com/journal/2016/10/24/sub-60-400</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2016-10-25</lastmod>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://twobitchesandjules.com/journal/2016/10/4/dwn8ao0exmdv34vss7sy56cpnit5lr</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2016-10-04</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1475592630472-OSLS5CJBD7DI8PJ69HIU/image-asset.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Runner's Diary: Portland Edition</image:title>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1475592797421-1A6M4KSOQ5NWW5R74P9N/image-asset.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Runner's Diary: Portland Edition</image:title>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1475593075395-ZAOPFOIIPEZ5VBBTCACQ/image-asset.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Runner's Diary: Portland Edition</image:title>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1475593166409-93JUHA48S1OAP8F1Q7Q7/image-asset.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Runner's Diary: Portland Edition</image:title>
    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://twobitchesandjules.com/journal/2016/10/1/pdx-high</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2016-10-01</lastmod>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://twobitchesandjules.com/journal/2016/9/29/restraint</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2016-09-30</lastmod>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://twobitchesandjules.com/journal/2016/9/22/dreadmillin</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2025-01-29</lastmod>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://twobitchesandjules.com/journal/2016/9/15/gvp02m3rpznoadku25qj2fz74anblt</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2016-09-15</lastmod>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://twobitchesandjules.com/journal/2016/9/9/old-yeller-schooly-style</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2016-09-09</lastmod>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://twobitchesandjules.com/journal/2016/9/3/let-them-eat-cake</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2016-09-04</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1472961486157-D46B50RS5O4HL4A9M0FA/image-asset.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Let them eat cake</image:title>
      <image:caption>10) Killface:  What the hell ever happened to Frisky Dingo?  Killface was requested by a friend for her boyfriend's birthday.  I had never watched the show, so Googling commenced, and then I laughed a bunch.  That's a cool thing about making random cakes--you're always learning about something new.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1472961833573-WTXJ8R6BSYCZNNNSKTBM/image-asset.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Let them eat cake</image:title>
      <image:caption>9) 9mm Graduate:  What every criminal justice major dreams of at his or her graduation party.  The gun is fashioned from Rice Krispies.  Snap, crackle, and pop a cap in your...</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1472961999887-B5GZ6LG5C653GURPJSTQ/image-asset.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Let them eat cake</image:title>
      <image:caption>8) Sushi:  Fruit roll-up ginger, fondant wasabi, chocolate soy sauce, and coconut rice.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1472962126415-72072LY7SV8P2TPDDMDI/image-asset.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Let them eat cake</image:title>
      <image:caption>7) Hello Kitty:  A dear friend requested this cake for his wive's birthday and by all the stupid fates aligning, he was in a coma on her birthday.  So I brought the kitty to the hospital because he would have wanted that.  RIP, Bret.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1472962313612-VJ02XPBGVQC70I7JEP5E/image-asset.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Let them eat cake</image:title>
      <image:caption>6) Scrabble Retirement:  The cake traveled to Nebraska to celebrate a retirement.  And yes, I always check and make sure that there are enough letters to spell out the requested words.  Otherwise, I ask for more words.  Details matter.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1472962543028-STGT4MTAK9D0STX2TRRN/image-asset.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Let them eat cake</image:title>
      <image:caption>5) Skateboard:  A birthday cake for one of my favorite dudes ever.  Doughnut wheels.  And I learned what trucks are.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1472962909913-P0MC5GUUZMQTANC0NRL2/image-asset.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Let them eat cake</image:title>
      <image:caption>4) Hamburger:  This was the first time I had a cake in an art show.  It was a great conversation piece and I found out I like chocolate Rice Krispies.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1472963094091-TM95XLTPCEQO2YN950A5/image-asset.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Let them eat cake</image:title>
      <image:caption>3) Spongebob Squarepants:  I was super proud of this one.  I sort of stepped back and decided that I was getting decent at this cake thing.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1472963362767-97Z4DQYIJCKTZD8PQRY5/image-asset.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Let them eat cake</image:title>
      <image:caption>2) The Cat in the Hat:  I love Dr. Seuss.  I always have and always will love him, so I jumped at the chance to create this one.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1472963926904-5K3W38FV8KKLF26SJ4JU/image-asset.png</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Let them eat cake</image:title>
      <image:caption>1) Star Wars:  You saw this coming if you know me at all.  Balance in the Force here with Vader and R2D2.  I suppose on some level this brings out the kid in me and that's why I like it so much.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://twobitchesandjules.com/journal/2016/8/29/paging-dr-wanker</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2025-01-29</lastmod>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://twobitchesandjules.com/journal/2016/8/11/mad-max</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2016-08-22</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1470898288109-LE585YX232CMXGI0CQ7C/image-asset.png</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Mad MAX</image:title>
      <image:caption>Best comment on video:  “Hell yeah random lady on the max is rocking it.” Yes, I do rock it, random guy on Facebook.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://twobitchesandjules.com/journal/2016/8/1/open-road</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2017-01-04</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1470090889655-9YOBPO10KDTWRU0U8WQE/image-asset.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Open Road</image:title>
      <image:caption>“The road to enlightenment is long and difficult, and you should try not to forget snacks and magazines.” - Anne Lamott</image:caption>
    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://twobitchesandjules.com/journal/2016/7/23/zeez-are-ger-man</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2025-01-29</lastmod>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://twobitchesandjules.com/journal/2016/7/17/or-they</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2016-08-22</lastmod>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://twobitchesandjules.com/journal/2016/7/9/travelers</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2016-08-22</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1468126494130-MM4WXWE9CO453DCCKGNO/image-asset.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Travelers</image:title>
      <image:caption>Bitch heaven.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://twobitchesandjules.com/journal/2016/7/1/oregon-trail</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2016-08-22</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1467425004466-0ET1IF5ZHUD20R1ZHCLV/image-asset.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Oregon Trail</image:title>
    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://twobitchesandjules.com/journal/2016/6/19/s2swlwdi8q94rlkshdjjy7uwa13vd5</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2016-08-22</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1466388618405-7EDJLOR13KBF520GWXQM/image-asset.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Lar Bear</image:title>
      <image:caption>I'm slower than Christmas, but they waited for me at the finish of my first marathon.  #biggestfan</image:caption>
    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://twobitchesandjules.com/journal/2016/6/14/6lw0dwpdw0d3hspkef4s262vd6bkkz</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2016-06-15</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1465958216887-XMO7UPM3EIWNX7C2BE9M/image-asset.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Patience</image:title>
      <image:caption>This would have been better advice.  (Photo by ChristiTolbert/iStock / Getty Images)</image:caption>
    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://twobitchesandjules.com/journal/2016/6/5/allison-dogwood</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2016-06-06</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1465171389397-4VQNAKCDRA9DF7GTOM59/image-asset.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Allison Dogwood</image:title>
      <image:caption>Fall 2005.  Those eyes.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1465171719518-RUHXET1EJ2V54NW49GLC/image-asset.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Allison Dogwood</image:title>
      <image:caption>Always the eyes, this one.  My love.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://twobitchesandjules.com/journal/2016/5/30/not-a-pussy-amongst-us</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2025-01-29</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1464660189182-M1LOEM6HNFPNAT78M30R/image-asset.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Not A Pussy Amongst Us...</image:title>
      <image:caption>Brats for life.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://twobitchesandjules.com/journal/2016/5/23/little-hopper</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2016-05-24</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1464055927364-W9GWU1ABB3F8D717QC58/image-asset.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Little Hopper</image:title>
      <image:caption>All good in this hood.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://twobitchesandjules.com/journal/2016/5/16/okx4tt5szgijz0cxtbgd5zea1fvm60</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2016-05-17</lastmod>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://twobitchesandjules.com/journal/2016/5/12/runners-diary-pittsburgh-edition</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2025-01-29</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1463070568180-78XB9AY8CRQ09C5IS584/image-asset.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Runner's Diary:  Pittsburgh Edition</image:title>
      <image:caption>You gotta eat breakfast, it might as well be here.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1463070625051-BPFF5KUP3F88PKUN7VML/image-asset.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Runner's Diary:  Pittsburgh Edition</image:title>
      <image:caption>Reppin' So Dak at the VIP Party.  I even met other fabulous GSP parents!</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1463070793649-EGGC9YBGJ7NDEINI2985/image-asset.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Runner's Diary:  Pittsburgh Edition</image:title>
      <image:caption>The bridge 24 hours before the marathon.  I was waiting for the next wave of Kids of Steel.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1463071014901-UF3BH27T1ZCSFRN0FSHO/image-asset.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Runner's Diary:  Pittsburgh Edition</image:title>
      <image:caption>Salty, but smiling.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1463071492565-PMXOJV6QPFP5EZSNLJR7/image-asset.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Runner's Diary:  Pittsburgh Edition</image:title>
      <image:caption>I get ridiculously hungry after these things, even though I eat before and have nutrition during.  There was ice cream after the rabbit ragu.  Mezzo is delicious.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://twobitchesandjules.com/journal/2016/5/4/1y4s00pmkr6ot474hgkn33lqv8fn4e</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2025-01-29</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1462415564336-0SP69QKWVCOF6GV6LOB7/image-asset.png</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Momma Said...</image:title>
    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://twobitchesandjules.com/journal/2016/4/23/obyr185i4e6u0v3l3xe26fyxx15uq6</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2025-01-29</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1461456168574-P2PYR8YPTNAFM8T011YH/image-asset.png</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Waiting</image:title>
    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://twobitchesandjules.com/journal/2016/4/21/chbxexz1n345cj2m8rjltn2fjvvy5d</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2016-05-05</lastmod>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://twobitchesandjules.com/journal/2016/4/17/balls</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2025-01-29</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1460929746333-ANZ6IVFY07P3BBCR0EZX/image-asset.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Balls</image:title>
      <image:caption>The closest thing Alli's had to a BF.  She lets him amuse himself like that.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1460930325073-8191FQV9EGHSJ67KKOP3/image-asset.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Balls</image:title>
      <image:caption>Alli is quite popular with the gents.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://twobitchesandjules.com/journal/2016/4/10/let-me-see-your-belly-roll</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2016-04-22</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1460329577184-8NQ6ZE0JWLH24FE70X9F/image-asset.png</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Let Me See Your Belly Roll...</image:title>
      <image:caption>The HS Freshman: Awkward, but I rocked those pinstripes.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1460328974308-3VCXZ0A2UZDI04N1I2MJ/image-asset.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Let Me See Your Belly Roll...</image:title>
      <image:caption>My friend called this, "The Woman Who Ate Jules."</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1460329109158-HWS4S8IU17UJS131AOJH/image-asset.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Let Me See Your Belly Roll...</image:title>
      <image:caption>All I saw when I first looked at this pic was my belly roll.  We are all works in progress, you blockhead.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://twobitchesandjules.com/journal/2016/4/3/1njllvwkp7w16vdue2omvr6diagcsl</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2016-04-22</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1459707696454-TTZ55BY0VT96K8DHI459/image-asset.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Holy Cow</image:title>
      <image:caption>You know I killed this.  And Duck Hunt, lots of Duck Hunt.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1459706449991-2B2YRZ15UEOS7FCAC91V/image-asset.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Holy Cow</image:title>
      <image:caption>This is the closest I ever came to believing in Santa.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://twobitchesandjules.com/journal/2016/3/30/ogpr6wlpkwukef99io6grvs5c7x2pc</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2016-04-22</lastmod>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://twobitchesandjules.com/journal/2016/3/27/meat-skeleton</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2016-04-22</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1459128773041-1OAXU71SDQEGXMR5U4W4/image-asset.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Meat Skeleton</image:title>
      <image:caption>We've got trouble, just not by the well.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1459129889076-1OP35SV8BRKX0DYA16MD/image-asset.png</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Meat Skeleton</image:title>
      <image:caption>Part of me will always love him and want him to be well.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://twobitchesandjules.com/journal/2016/3/22/we-are-brow</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2016-04-22</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1458695657465-2RXIECPXHS71QULPN0OO/image-asset.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - We Are Brownheads</image:title>
      <image:caption>2010:  First 13.1.  More pounds and less tattoos.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1458696014821-Q1CRFRFZTO1QG2TXAZXV/image-asset.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - We Are Brownheads</image:title>
      <image:caption>Hands down, the most fun part of the pre-marathon was the carb-loading.  I ate bagels, potatoes, chicken, and waffles.  God, I ate waffles.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1458695267100-6X6TOMVD77BDNX9AE63P/image-asset.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - We Are Brownheads</image:title>
      <image:caption>We did it.  I hit the finish line with enough sass to tell the announcer just to call me, “Schooly” as he was searching for my name.  I got that finisher medal.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://twobitchesandjules.com/journal/2016/3/18/qwxvgbu5xfusd879qey0vop6ndmq7b</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2016-03-23</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1458358236831-FVIZ72KI9S9CF126B5S2/image-asset.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Encaged, Engaged, or Enraged</image:title>
      <image:caption>The bar lighting becomes her.  2003-ish.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1458358346039-HAHUPRX5FIR493RBW8QS/image-asset.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Encaged, Engaged, or Enraged</image:title>
      <image:caption>She didn't dream of weddings or husbands.  World hair domination, perhaps.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://twobitchesandjules.com/journal/2016/3/10/emdta2dtrluy2m9wer8q2k514jzpaw</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2016-03-16</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1457663080591-7U1X2SNIA75DFQE9T6JC/image-asset.png</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Turdsday Afternoon</image:title>
      <image:caption>Alli has smashed into me many times while on shapoop patrol.  Sometimes she leaves her mark.  Usually, my ego is just glad I didn't fall into the mess.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1457663409439-FJL2IWP5AENJM5RCW0GW/image-asset.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Turdsday Afternoon</image:title>
      <image:caption>Chef Boy loves the Bitches no matter what.  They love him despite the world's worst TMNT costume.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1457664356806-1QL3P82J5ZQLE3WR5DLR/image-asset.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Turdsday Afternoon</image:title>
      <image:caption>With feces, um, faces like these...</image:caption>
    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://twobitchesandjules.com/journal/2016/3/5/strange-beasts</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2016-03-06</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1457231922802-0Y8BHTYYAUAUB6KJ35W3/image-asset.png</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Strange Beasts</image:title>
      <image:caption>Be still, my heart.  You even used "you're" correctly.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1457232202663-0FNX849XRZPVSBZGSAC3/image-asset.png</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Strange Beasts</image:title>
      <image:caption>I certainly didn't peak early.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://twobitchesandjules.com/journal/2016/3/2/the-spirits-played-on</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2016-03-10</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1456972342880-I3YHT4M9G0K4OQQG2KSX/image-asset.png</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - The Spirits Played On</image:title>
      <image:caption>This was hands-down the weirdest place I ever lived.  The upstairs neighbor's toilet was always leaking and I used to fight with the landlord about fixing it.  I reached up one day, after a ceiling tile fell out, and pulled a brick out of the ceiling.  I was convinced their toilet would fall through while I was using our toilet and my obituary would read, "A shitter killed her on the shitter.  She died doing something she loved."</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1456972931972-ZS47OI12NIPHLU9VHD38/image-asset.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - The Spirits Played On</image:title>
      <image:caption>This Bitch.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1456973480857-3VWO1F3QTVSEF9OHYRTP/image-asset.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - The Spirits Played On</image:title>
      <image:caption>I know this was Jason and Diana because of the prep from co-workers.  My friend, Tracy, was obsessed with Jason, so I told him that and he said, "This one's for Tracy."  I am a horrible friend and forgot to show her this picture or tell her the story for like four years.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1456972796651-QRVLVCY452VWS3WLZZTW/image-asset.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - The Spirits Played On</image:title>
      <image:caption>This is so ugly.  But I love it because I loved Tim.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://twobitchesandjules.com/journal/2016/2/27/saint-joey-of-turner-county</loc>
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    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2016-03-06</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1456621678206-BTI4LRRAET9M2NY4Q4NP/image-asset.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Saint Joey of Turner County</image:title>
      <image:caption>The Asshole as a Young Pup:  This is Joey on her Gotcha Day, when she was probably about 14 weeks old.  The little runt managed to come with food aggression issues because she is just that special.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1456621835831-9EL9966M8J8XS9QALL9C/image-asset.png</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Saint Joey of Turner County</image:title>
      <image:caption>"Dude's cool, but that hair is cray," said the big dog.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1456621924594-1ARL730J3PADGG6PO8E5/image-asset.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Saint Joey of Turner County</image:title>
      <image:caption>The cynic in me thought I would be robbed if I went to him.  Good thing I don’t always listen to that bitch.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1456622026850-R3OFYLN397GHDXO5N59A/image-asset.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Saint Joey of Turner County</image:title>
      <image:caption>2011 Family Photo</image:caption>
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    <lastmod>2025-01-29</lastmod>
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      <image:title>Blog - Han Solo Syndrome</image:title>
      <image:caption>Be still my heart.</image:caption>
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      <image:caption>Goals.</image:caption>
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      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1456096170444-IVANWZJHODQH8XH8RW8L/image-asset.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Han Solo Syndrome</image:title>
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    <lastmod>2025-01-29</lastmod>
    <image:image>
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      <image:title>Blog - These Dreams</image:title>
      <image:caption>When one has the opportunity to use a cheese pic from the World of Stock, one takes it.</image:caption>
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    <lastmod>2025-01-29</lastmod>
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      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56a812708b38d428b95456ca/1455638258613-U9Z1QOJHKHSEONWKARQX/image-asset.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Best in Show</image:title>
      <image:caption>The Bitches conferring on the early showings in the Hound Group.  Alli called the Borzoi from the start, partly for its beauty, but mostly for her love of Russian literature.</image:caption>
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    <lastmod>2018-01-26</lastmod>
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      <image:title>Blog - Open</image:title>
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      <image:title>Blog - Open</image:title>
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    <lastmod>2016-02-10</lastmod>
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      <image:title>Blog - The Big Pitch</image:title>
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      <image:title>Blog - Winter is a dick...</image:title>
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      <image:title>Blog - Winter is a dick...</image:title>
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      <image:title>Read Me</image:title>
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      <image:title>Read Me</image:title>
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