Hey there, Facebook, let’s talk about this thing that’s been bugging me.  Since I’m the admin for the Two Bitches and Jules Facebook page, I get a lot of requests to promote our content and build an audience for our page.  This includes sample sponsored ads in my feed and messenger contact from Facebook Business—“Hey Page Admin, for just $9, your post will be boosted to reach an additional 9,500 people!” 

WAHOO!

Help me build my audience, Facebook, you beautiful techies!  Of those TWO BILLION monthly users, there have to be a handful of folks interested in reading about the life of a dog lady with a slightly tilted worldview. 

“Yes, let’s ramp this up,” I thought as decided to start boosting posts, carefully looking over what my target audience should be.  Runners?  Check.  People who like dogs?  Check.  Ages 18 to whatever?  Check. 

“Facebook is really gonna help me build my audience,” I thought naively as I prepared the promotion.

And with a click, I hoped this might get my page in front of someone who wouldn’t have heard of us otherwise. 

Then it happened.

“Your is disapproved” was the subject line of the email.

“Your ad isn’t approved because it doesn’t comply with our Advertising Policies.  You can check the ad name below to see why it wasn’t approved and edit the ad to have it reviewed again.”

Huh? 

Am I offensive?  Am I profane?  Am I human?  Am I a dancer?

Am I offensive?  Am I profane?  Am I human?  Am I a dancer?

Upon clicking, I discovered there was an appeals process, so I decided to quick appeal the profanity issue by letting Facebook know that the “Bitches” in reference were, in fact, female canines.  They are bitches.  Ask a veterinarian.  Consult a children’s dictionary—we’ve already covered this terrain.

“Your appealed ad wasn’t approved” was the next email’s subject line.

“We’ve reviewed your request and found your posts can’t be boosted because it doesn’t follow Facebook’s Advertising Policies.  The post remains published, but it isn’t running as an ad.” 

“Blah, blah, blah…  more about profanity.  Blah, blah, blah…  someone’s gonna be offended by your language.”

Okay, the quotes above aren’t fair, the lawyers can back off.  I’m just being a drama queen because Facebook won’t take my $9 to help me build an audience because they think I’ll offend someone. 

Considering the dumpster fires we’ve all seen on social media, I’m not sure how deeply I could offend.  I’ve seen everything from a dog fight to a man getting shot and killed on Facebook. 

I’ll offend someone for using “bitch” to refer to my female canine companions?

It’s not pejorative, it’s zoological classification.

Facebook, do you hate science?  Do you hate the dictionary?  Or do you just hate bitches? 

Your internal investigation found it “likely” that Russian operatives spent $100,000 on ads during a two-year period.  Just to be clear, you took six figures from jerks who wanted to upset people and push peoples’ buttons, but you won’t take my $9 to grow my audience?

I’ve lost count at the number of times I’ve tried to give you $5 or $10 dollars to promote the page or boost a post.  I keep hoping some reasonable person will see the appeals, although I doubt the appeals never reach human eyes.  I do find a tiny, though short-lived, satisfaction in repeatedly messaging the Business Messenger that I want to speak to Zuckerberg and that his children could figure this out more quickly. 

Yes, I could probably find a work around—make the vowels **s like Two B*tch*s and Jules or something, but giving into the “this is offensive” when it couldn’t be less offensive is just silly. 

So if anyone with any pull happens to see this, I have $5 and want to boost this post…    

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