This political season certainly hasn’t done much to preserve anyone’s sanity. It was funny back in the old days of 2015, wondering how many Republicans could be stuffed into the clown car that was the debates. Remember the Ted Cruz lip booger thing? Hilarious. Or Ben Carson’s commissioned portrait with Jesus? Never let people into your home, I guess. Personally, I always wondered where Carson’s handlers were. Why wasn’t someone screaming, “You’re ruining your legacy! People used to think of you as the one who they would let cut their child’s head open and operate on his or her brain. Now you’re the crazy uncle from northwest Iowa who compares healthcare to slavery. Legacy. LEG-A-CY.”
Not that the Democratic side is the way and the light. But at least it feels like the less awkward adults showed up there to argue with words containing more than two syllables.
Social media just aggravates it. I was baited in with all the Bernie followers earlier in the year. Half the people I unfollowed were posting Trumpish racist insanity, but the other half were annoying me with the their incessant #feelthebern.
Bernie made a campaign stop in Sioux Falls not long before I left town. I thought about stopping out at the convention center just to check out the spectacle. It’s not often that a presidential candidate makes a stop there. Everyone knows ultimately the state will go red and our primary wasn’t until June, so our only shot is for a hotly contested primary.
I happened to be having a mildly interesting Tinder conversation with a fella the night of the Bernie rally. But then I mentioned the rally and learned that he was actually in SD working on the Sanders campaign. So of course I made a joke about wearing my “I <3 Hillary” shirt on my run that night and how I should have altered my route to run by the Berners.
And I laughed.
Should I have started in on chem trails? Would that have been close enough to the Bernie Starter Pack for you?
Social media should enhance our lives. It’s a great place to talk about tacos and pizza, and to share dog pics and kitty videos. It’s not so serious, friends. And if someone annoys you or you don’t care for their content, the beauty of the unfollow, the sweet stroke of the unfriend, or the permanency of the block button are all at your fingertips here.
Basically, we all have so many ways to constantly interact with each other we are bound to annoy each other. And the twin pillars of Gen X’er communication, irony and sarcasm, are often lost in non-face to face communication. It’s funny how communication is misconstrued on something called “Facebook.”
Just know it’s gonna happen to you, too. You’re gonna get challenged, unfollowed, unfriended, and maybe even blocked. Remember when I took all that shit for dogbooking the Westminster Show and I learned to never apologize to anyone for annoying him or her with my joy? I have this bizarre wish that I’ve annoyed someone to the point of being blocked, but then my ego kicks in and reminds me how interesting I am. Why would anyone want to miss a moment of this? Bitches! Miles! Cursing! A lack of cohesion reminiscent of a GSP seeing three squirrels and a rabbit at the same time. The same time.
But yeah, get unfriended. Even if the unfriender was pissed or annoyed at you, he or she was still thinking about you. And it’s probably for the best in the long run.
It’s like getting stood up for a date, be happy when someone shows his or her asshole card and does you a favor by removing him or herself from your life. Especially virtually. Don't crowd my introvert haven, dude.
Only once did I meet an annoying online person in the real world and we bonded over Helen Keller jokes and Mexican food.
And now I want tacos. Damn it.